


Bleeding Tears of Renewal

by Morgana



Series: Tenses of Love [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 21:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16689598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: Thor and his people come together to bid farewell to the loved ones they've lost





	Bleeding Tears of Renewal

Tony Stark took a good, long look around the room that had been designated as Asgard’s Great Hall. “Uh, FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Boss?”

“You wanna tell me just what happened here, sweetheart? Cause I’m pretty sure that this place wasn’t ready to film Hoarders when I left last week.” But apparently six days made one hell of a difference, because there was now stuff _everywhere_. Clothes, some electronics, a few kids’ toys, and - was that an ironing board?!? “Start talking, baby girl.”

“It’s for the ritual,” FRIDAY informed him. “The Asgardians have been gathering things for their dead over the past week so they can have a ceremony. Apparently, grave goods are a necessary part of any proper Asgardian funeral.”

“Uh-huh.” He looked around. “That still doesn’t explain why this place looks like a fucking thrift store exploded all over it.”

“We have many dead that need remembering,” Thor said from behind him. “There was no time for any kind of a ceremony for my father, or those that fell to Hela, and then there are those from the ship...” He broke off and looked away, and Tony knew just who he was thinking of. “We have lost many, and we must mourn so we can move forward.”

Tony felt a sudden, unwelcome tightness in his throat. “Yeah, I get it,” he managed to say around it. That was really what they were all trying to do, right? Move forward? Swallowing hard, he reached out to pat Thor’s chest. “Listen, lemme know when you’re gonna do this thing, okay? I’d kinda like to, y’know, show up for it. I mean, if that’s okay.”

Thor smiled. “Of course. I believe the last shipment will be here soon, and we’ll set it up then.”

“Tracking has your package coming in three days from now, Your Majesty,” FRIDAY said. “Everything else was received yesterday.”

“Trust Fury to take his time,” Thor muttered, then sighed. “Thank you, FRIDAY.” He turned back to Tony. “We’ll plan on the ceremony in five days, at sunset.”

Tony nodded, then watched Thor head out to let everyone know about the time. “I don’t suppose you’re gonna tell me what our favorite Shakespearean’s expecting from Fury?” he asked FRIDAY.

“I’d tell you if I knew, Boss, but Fury’s tightened up his security since he shut SHIELD down,” was the answer.

“Yeah, I expected as much,” he sighed. “Damn. I hate having to find out along with everyone else.” He briefly considered trying to hack USPS or FedEx, then decided it really wasn’t worth the trouble. Besides, given the kind of stuff that was in the room, he could take a good guess at it. But that gave him an idea. With a nod, Tony headed out to find the rest of the Avengers.

**********************************

The knock on his door pulled Thor out of the memories he’d spent the better part of the afternoon lost in. “Looks like that’s our cue,” he told Jormun, holding out his wrist. Once the snake was settled, he picked up his box and looked around the room to be sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. Satisfied that he had all he needed, he headed to the door to find his king’s guard waiting for him.

“Ladies,” he greeted them with a nod. They bowed their heads respectfully in return, and all three of them walked in silence to the edge of the forest, where his people were gathering with their grave goods, making ready for the walk to the barrow. And where, to his surprise, the Avengers also waited for him.

“We’d like to come with you, if that’s okay,” Steve said quietly, shifting the box he carried in his arm. Thor wasn’t quite sure what could be in it, given that he, like most of the humans, had gotten his lost companion back when they’d defeated Thanos. Of course, Steve had others that he hadn’t been able to retrieve, so perhaps he wished to say good-bye to them along with the Asgardians.

Thor nodded, and the Avengers took up a position behind his king’s guard. The Asgardians lit torches as the sun began to set, and they all set out along the path that had been marked out, walking silently until they reached the large hill where they’d made their barrow. Once there, everyone spread out around it, and the ceremony began. One by one, people brought their goods forth, starting with those who’d lost children, placing them in first, so their young ones would be protected by the others, moving on to the elders and the women, with the warriors following all of them.

When all the others had been placed in the grave, Thor stepped forward. He knelt down before the grave and took a solemn little doll he’d come across out of the box. “For Hogun,” he said as he set it down. The other members of the Warriors Three had already been memorialized by their families, but Hogun’s kin were still on Vanaheim. And he knew they’d had rites for him there, but Thor would also see to it that he was accorded the honors of Asgard, as well.

The doll was followed by a golden knife. “For Heimdall.” Then one of his own eyepatches. “For Father.” And last of all, his brother’s helmet, the curved horns gleaming in the torchlight. It was the only truly Asgardian thing Thor had left to put in the grave, the only real remainder of him, and Thor could barely stand to part with it, but at the same time, he knew Loki would have demanded that his helmet go with him. “For Loki,” he forced out.

He got to his feet, but he couldn’t quite move away, couldn’t leave just yet. There was movement behind him as Stark came up on his left, walking up to the grave to put a bottle of whiskey down. “For my dad,” he said quietly. Then he added a sheaf of papers with lines and black markings on them. “For my mom.” And last was an empty glass, which he set next to the helmet. “For Loki.”

Thor turned to look at him, only to have Steve follow Stark up. He laid a picture of a pretty, careworn woman down. “For my ma,” he said, before setting a handgun down next to it. “For Peggy.” Once again, he followed it up with a final offering, a portrait of Loki in full battle gear, eyes glinting with challenge and mischief. “For Loki.”

Natasha was next, placing only a book inside that she opened to show blank, lined pages. “For Loki,” she said with a nod.

Clint came after her with a plastic model of a human heart that he laid down with a wry smile. “For Loki.”

Last of all was Bruce, who set down a clumsy drawing of Loki that was captioned with BIG GOD and a rubber snake that was wrapped around a plastic knife. The reminder of the childhood exploit surprised a chuckle from Thor that had Bruce grinning as he looked up at him and stated, “For Loki.”

Brunnhilde stepped up and took one of her daggers out of her waistband, turning it around to lay it hilt-first right in front of the helmet. “For Loki,” she said. “One of Asgard’s saviors.”

Thor took a shaking breath and nodded, the acknowledgement giving him the strength to step back. It was gratifying to see his friends acknowledge Loki. to have his brother’s worth recognized so openly by ally and enemy alike. Loki would have loved it, would have seen all of it as his due, and with that in mind, there was only one thing Thor could do. He turned around to look at his people, seeing his grief reflected back in so many eyes and on so many faces, and he held a hand up. “I know we planned a quiet night after this, but Asgard’s fallen deserve better,” he said. “So once we return to the Hall, I invite you all to join me for a feast - for Loki, for our people, and for Asgard!”

He hoped that the cheers that rang out in response reached into Valhalla. Their fallen warriors deserved to know just how loved they’d been by their people - all of them.

**********************************

“It was a fine feast. No king could have asked for a better send off.”

Thor probably shouldn’t have been surprised to find himself back on that plain, but he’d have thought that if he dreamt of anyone tonight, it would have been Loki. Still, he couldn’t say he was sad to see his father. He went to greet him with a hug. “I’m glad you thought so. We’ve lost so much that I wanted the people to have something good to remember.”

“And you didn’t want to leave the grave and go back to your quarters alone.” As always, his father knew all the truth of his actions, and Thor didn’t bother to deny it.

“And I didn’t want to leave the grave and go back to my quarters alone,” he agreed. “I was - I couldn’t.”

His father nodded and turned around, and as he always had, Thor fell into step with him as they began to walk. “You know, when you live as long as I have, you attend many feasts,” his father commented. “And after a while, they begin to become indistinguishable, one from the other. But there are a few that stand out: tonight, the feast of your birth, my wedding feast, a few of our great victory feasts, Loki’s first homecoming... and a solstice feast, long ago.”

Thor’s head whipped around, but his father showed no sign of having noticed. “There was a man at that feast,” he continued, in that same faraway voice he’d always used for spinning tales of monsters and giants, of Asgard’s glories and victories. Once upon a time, both Thor and Loki had loved that voice, had begged their father for more stories, but that was before they’d learned just how many of them were built on lies and half-truths. “Those that saw him believed him a hero out of legend, but he was actually more. He was a king, you see.” His father looked at him, sympathy showing clearly in his gaze. “A king who had lost everything.”

“Father, I -”

A raised hand stopped him. “I took this king aside and spoke with him. He had powerful forces at his command that he didn’t yet understand, and I wanted to be sure my people were safe. In the end, I couldn’t give him what he sought; I think none could. But I knew after seeing him that, while he was a strong king, one that will lead his people well, I would wish a different fate for my sons.” The raised hand moved to grasp his shoulder. “You see, this king’s entire world resided in one person, and I know what that’s like. How their smiles and words can light the sky for you. But in this king, I saw my own future, for he’d lost his world, and one day, I, too, would lose mine.”

His father squeezed his shoulder and resumed walking. “So I resolved that I would ensure that my sons would never know that kind of pain. I took steps to make sure that their world never narrowed to one person, whether that meant separating them from people who had the potential to become everything to them, or nurturing petty jealousies that might keep bonds from growing too close. Even with each other.”

Thor drew in a sharp breath. “You - you did it - all of it - on purpose?” he whispered, hardly able to believe it.

“I truly thought I was acting in your best interests,” his father said. “I know that isn’t much comfort, but after what I saw in that king’s face - what I saw in _your_ face, Thor... when you left, I remember telling Frigga that it would be a wonder if you weren’t dead by the next solstice.” He sighed. “I couldn’t see consigning either of my sons to such a fate. I never wanted them to know that kind of loss.”

It made sense, even if his heart cried out for what he’d lost thanks to his father’s meddling. “Would you have done it if you’d known everything? If you’d realized who I was, would you still have worked to keep us apart?”

His father stopped once more and turned to look at him, and his single eye, Thor could see all the grief, regret, and loneliness he carried in his own heart. “Do you really want the answer to that?”

He woke to find his cheeks wet with tears, his father’s question still echoing in his ears. Sitting up, Thor swiped his hands across his face, rubbing the heel of one into his empty eye socket, relishing the way the pain grounded him and helped him come back to reality after the dream that had felt all too real. He took a deep breath, shoved his covers back, and got out of bed to face another day.

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found rambling about Loki, Thor, Tony, The Winter Soldier, and many other things on Tumblr - feel free to join me [here!](https://darklingdawns.tumblr.com/)


End file.
